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I Am a Dancer

November 11 2013

I Dance.

I AM A DANCER.

by Tamara Squires July 2012

Great Day = 

Wake up, walk 10 steps from my home to my beautiful studio, teach a boys dance fitness class and get to dance with my 2 amazing sons. Then teach another dance fitness class where my Mom (my first dance teacher) is there, she is dancing her heart out and beaming. My husband works out in the back corner of class, but I catch his eye and love him even more for being my biggest supporter. My childhood friend/dance duo partner Dana Rossi just happens to show up to class too. My heart soars…we are kids again. Watching how beautifully she dances and getting the chance to dance lyrical along side of her once again means so much...after class I can only hold her and cry.  And it feels like home. 

Next, I go on a hike with my boys and be grateful that I get to live close to the mountains. We hike, we explore, we find an Indiana Jones bridge.  Then after the hike, we join friends on our deck in the backyard, eating hearty chips and chunky guacamole. Sharing with friends, talking about life and leaving the past behind. The kids play in the background of our conversation, jumping off rocks, running in the grass, chasing and laughing and never once asking "Mom, can we play wii?"

After dinner, friends have left, and I am with my beautiful family. My son Kellen tells me he has decided he wants to write a book. We set him up on the computer where he sits thinking of the plot and types out haltingly with his two index fingers his story that he says will be about two adventurous boys. In the hour before bedtime and my young song Blake will manage to dress up as Spiderman, Luigi (from Mario Bros.) a ghost, then ending with his Indiana Jones get up, outfitted with whip, hat and theme song music.

It is joyful and happy and funny.

Dance, music, friends and family fill my day.

As we get ready for bed, we dim lights and start to calm life down. I tell my boys "I just have to dance one more time and I want to dance with you two".  There is a song I had heard earlier in the day that I want to move to before I can sleep. So...in my room...we dance, to a song about "wiping away your tears and fight away all of your fears". My husband looks on and finally sees a happy wife and he smiles.

I hug my boys, who have granted my request and have danced with me. I hug them and I smell their hair, I breathe them. And I feel my heart full of happiness that I am their Mom.

I curl into bed, EARLY for the first time in months. And I sleep peacefully, straight through the night, without tossing and turning. I wake up and can only hope that this gem, this wonderful day I had can be repeated...I know I will strive to repeat renditions of it again, and again and again.

After experiences one of the most challenging years of my life on this planet, I can believe that now…that year is OVER. I am making new choices, creating my days and wanting to live the life I dared to dream. Are there more challenges up ahead…could be, yeah, very likely…but on this day, I chose to have a GREAT day.  Here's to more GREAT days!  Here's to finally being brave enough to jump off my crazy, spinning, carney carousel life these past few months. 

Wake up, DANCE, eat, DANCE, laugh, DANCE, hike, hug, share, DANCE, connect, cry, laugh, DANCE, eat, DANCE, smile, breathe, DANCE, and sleep. 

With tomorrow, a new chapter in my life will begin. I am about release something to the world that I have been working on for what seems like forever. I will really bare myself in a personal way and have given it everything I could possibly bring to the table. I do not know how it will be received. I only know that I had to do it, I had to put it out there. 

I dance. I AM A DANCER. I want to thank dance, who since the age of 2 has been my friend, my confidant, my lover, my passion, my mistress, my owner, my pain, my joy, my sass, my sex, my sweetness, my thrash, my intensity, my crazy, my fun, my raving, my silliness, my success, my breakdown, my light, my everything and it will always be with me, nothing can ever take dance from my heart. 

I dance. I AM A DANCER. It is and will always be enough. 

I am enough...just because.

Gotta run...gotta dance to “Wide Awake” by Katy Perry

"Wide Awake"

I'm wide awake

I'm wide awake

 

I'm wide awake

Yeah, I was in the dark

I was falling hard

With an open heart

I'm wide awake

How did I read the stars so wrong?

I'm wide awake

And now it's clear to me

That everything you see

Ain't always what it seems

I'm wide awake

Yeah, I was dreaming for so long

 

I wish I knew then

What I know now

Wouldn't dive in

Wouldn't bow down

Gravity hurts

You made it so sweet

'Til I woke up on

On the concrete

 

Falling from cloud 9

Crashing from the high

I'm letting go tonight

Yeah, I'm falling from cloud 9

 

I'm wide awake

Not losing any sleep

I picked up every piece

And landed on my feet

I'm wide awake

Need nothing to complete myself, no

 

I'm wide awake

Yeah, I am born again

Outta the lion's den

I don't have to pretend

And it's too late

The story's over now, the end

 

I wish I knew then

What I know now

Wouldn't dive in

Wouldn't bow down

Gravity hurts

You made it so sweet

'Til I woke up on

On the concrete

 

Falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue)

I'm crashing from the high

I'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting you go)

I'm falling from cloud 9

 

I'm wide awake

Thunder rumbling

Castles crumbling

I'm wide awake

I am trying to hold on

I'm wide awake

God knows that I tried

Seeing the bright side

I'm wide awake

But I'm not blind anymore...

 

I'm wide awake

I'm wide awake

 

Yeah, I'm falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue)

I'm crashing from the high

You know I'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting you go)

I'm falling from cloud 9

 

I'm wide awake

I'm wide awake

Listen on youtube by clicking "Wide Awake"

Available on iTunes: Click Here

 

Tamara Squires, Creator of FLiP: Start With Happy! At-Home Fitness/Transformation Workout Program

POSTED AT:05.46PM

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